Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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