im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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