Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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