I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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