Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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