Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
