Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
