"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
