you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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