Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
