how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
