Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
foreskin is a definite game changer
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
