I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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