peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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