Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
