i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
