I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
