he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
