I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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