It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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