And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
