Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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