You made me cry and you don't even care
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
