so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
