I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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