Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
