he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
