Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
