I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
NoShamevember. You game?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
