I'm drive I can fine osifer
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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