Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
