he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
