At least make sure they are 18
Why
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just cut my nipple shaving
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
