i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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