Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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