Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
