So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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