Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
