Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
