just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
