ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
