lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
