a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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