Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
