My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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