i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
