You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
