i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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