Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
