My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
