wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
