Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
